Puddy Papers, By Brian37 (AKA Brian James Rational Poet on FB/META and @brianrrs37 on Twitter)

Professor Kingsfield
Knew nothing
About the laws

Of tiny little furballs
Nor could Anne
Have imagined the papers

My puddy’s chase
And when they run
Out of energy

They corner me
In my bed
Kelly sleeps on my side

Anneplath head of the class
The real professor
Of the Ivy Tail white tip

Not even freshmen
Their prose the law
Sexton never saw

Not ambulance chasers
Better than
The Jesus Papers

They know of which
Of my leavers
To get me to

Give them vittles
Then they sleep
While they cuddle

So if you ever
Need a Lawyer
Or a poet

They’re your trouble
Fun is fun
On the double.
(end)

This is a hybrid poem playing off the title of a short lived legal show “The Paper Chase”. And off of Anne Sexton’s poems called “The Jesus Papers”, but is in total reference to my two new kittens.

Professor Kingsfield was a character in a fictional Ivy League college. He was played by British actor John Houseman.

And Anneplath, my kitten, has a bright ivory white tip, thus that line.
And they cuddle together when I put them in the carrier to sleep. And they own me for sure. They wrote the law of poetry on feline cuteness.

Puddys vs Goliath, By Brian James Rational Poet on FB/META and @brianrrs37 on Twitter)

You’d think a guy
Could sit and try
To have a bowl of cereal

At midnight
But Anneplath
And Kelly

Also wanted to fill
Their belly and climbed
Up the side of me

Pin needle claws
Doesn’t matter
How small

Doesn’t matter
How tall
They wanted to get

To the bowl
I was laughing
Couldn’t eat at all

They clung
To the side of me
Like little thistles

Centimeters long
They had the druthers
Mountain climbing masters

They knew
What they were
After

Snorting milk
Through my nose
With all that laughter

Little tiny meows
Were the nails
In my coffin

“You win, you win!”
I put the bowl down
Went to the kitchen

And opened a tin
Of wet food
I’m a weak dude

A pushover,
They know who
Is in charge

It isn’t the big
The tall
The large

I have no chance
They do their dance
They know in advance

I’m their servant
They own me
They won the war.
(end)

Anneplath and Kelly wouldn’t let me eat my bowl of cereal. They kept trying to climb up my shirt digging into it clinging to me like thistles. I’d put them on the floor and they would climb up my sweatpants legs and up my shirt again. And of course meowing at the same time. I was laughing so hard. I finally gave up and opened up a can of cat food to get them off my back. They own me. Lovable, redorable, but I know who is in charge and it isn’t me.

Patience, By Brian James Rational Poet on FB/META and @brianrrs37 on Twitter)

The fashion fur ball
And the poets saw
My hoodie hanging

The string dangling
The didn’t need
A Sony Play Station

But they’d meow
Their tummies would growl
Then they’d need

To relieve themselves
And that there is
Where my patience begins

I can handle it when
They meow and meow
And it never ends

Sleep what is that
Just like kids
Bounce off the walls

Midnight calls
Then they have to
Do what we all do

But they haven’t
Figured out where
Their powder room is.

Wet spot here
Package there
Beware, beware

A mess it is
But I don’t mind
They’re too damned cute

They’re figure it out
In time, but in the meantime
No sleep till Brooklyn
(end)

Fortunately I have vinyl flooring and it is easy to clean. My kitties haven’t figured out the litterbox yet. But the fun part in the meantime is that they have really adapted to the house in just one day. They are running round bouncing off the walls right now 2:30am. But I am laughing my ass off. I already have insomnia so at least this is a fun way to have it.

The only thing I worry about since they are so small is falling asleep with them on the bed and either trying to jump off, I think it is too high up for them right now. And or accidentally rolling over on them.

So for now if I feel sleepy I put them in their carrier. I plan on getting a big pet cage for them. Other than that they are uber adorable and I can be a prouder daddy right now.

Action adventure: Kittens Anneplath takes the lead in about to sleep mode, while Kelly is backup. Always bet on black and calicos.

I have figured out how to get to the “spam” folder so nobody should have a problem now with posting a reply. Do me a favor guys. Not just Ellie, but others, please leave a comment here so I can practice approving the ones I see and if need be going to my spam folder to approve them there. THANK YOU in advance.

Not a poem. But if everything goes well, my cab driver will be dropping of two adorable kittens. One jet black. Her name will be Anneplath, named after two of my favorite female poets, Anne Sexton and Sylvia Plath. The other, her sister, is a calico and will be named Kelly, after Charlie’s Angels Jaclyn Smith Kelly. Why Kelly? Because a couple weeks ago the real Jaclyn Smith sent me a Tweet in answer to my questions during one of her fan sessions where she answers questions of fans.

If I have mentioned this before, I am sorry, I am just really excited. I will have two furbabbies and I have never had two cats at one time. If I can figure out how to post pictures I will. But your best chance to see them would be on Twitter at “RationalPoet @brianrrs37.

I should be getting them either tonight or tomorrow.

You’re Every Dori In The World To Me, By Brian James Rational Poet on FB/META and @brianrrs37 on Twitter)

He filled Trunk with fear
Every time he was near
The solution was always clear

Like when they were in the office
And the killers wanted to off him
Dynamite sends him to his coffin

Hammer tossed the stick
Back and forth
Over Trunk’s desk

But when that didn’t work
Hammer thought
The window he could break

Toss the stick outside
Dori was standing aside
Watching them scream and cry

They thought
They were going to die
Dori sighed and rolled her eyes

Thinking to herself
I’m sure
“Will you look at these two guys?”

Making fools of themselves
The solution was right there
Neither were aware

The wick could get wet
Cup of coffee on the desk
Dori finished it

Saved both of those idiots.

Ivory pistol grip
Dirty Harry
Not so smart

Dori made it an art
To always save his ass
She always had the brass.
(end)

This is a silly poem about one of my favorite slapstick/sight gag tv comedies spoofing Dirty Harry, called “Sledge Hammer”.

There was an episode where a mob boss put out a million dollar hit on Hammer and while he and Captain Trunk and Doreau are in the Captain’s office, above them in the ceiling vent a potential killer drops a lit stick of dynamite into the office.

Of course both Hammer and Trunk panic playing hot potato with it tossing it back and forth. Hammer then tries to break the office window several times with a chair but can’t.

Dori Doreau, the only one calm in the room finally picks up the stick of dynamite and submerges the lit wick in Captain Trunk’s cup of coffee.

I love that show, it was soooo uber super silly. Trunk always aways afraid of Hammer getting him hurt and Dori always saves his ass in just about every episode.

Cut Short, By Brian James Rational Poet on FB/META and @brianrrs37 on Twitter)

You cannot unsee
This unimaginable
Brutality

Cut in half
Like a side of beef
Posed to shock

On the side of the street
Not a stich on her
Naked bone white bleach

Jet black hair
Glasgow smile
Sliced her lips

To both ears
Breasts fileted
In grewsome way

She had a face
Bomber body
Pinup sliced up

Dumped
In Leimert
Park

Betty found her
While walking her kid
At first she thought

It was a mannequin
(end)

I made the mistake of stumbling across the uncensored crime scene photos of the famous unsolved murder of the Black Dahlia murder of Elizabeth Short in 1947 whose body was found in Leimert Park in Los Angeles California. It is absolutely scary the sick evil things a human can do to another human. I can handle fake horror movies, but real crime scene photos, no matter how old, always make me sick, sometimes for days.

A killer was never convicted and the crime was never solved. “Naked bone white bleach” is describing how an old photograph can make light color look bone white, and her skin looked like that in old photographs. “Glasgow Smile” is the name of particular type of facial cut made as a torture or disfiguring act to make someone ugly, even if they survive. It is when you cut someone’s lips to their ears. I only learned that just now from reading the wikipedia article. ” Bomber’s Body” and “pinup” are basically referring to the WW2 female Glamor look she had as if she could be the painting on the side of a B52 bomber, or the sultry actress in a Bogart movie.

I would NOT recommend looking her up if you are sensitive. I myself had to write about it because it was so disturbing to see the old photographs I couldn’t hold it in.

THE FOLLOWING is the Black Dahlia wiki article, IT IS NOT photographically graphic, BUT it does contain graphic descriptions of the murder. It is too bad nobody was ever convicted.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_Dahlia