Puddys vs Goliath

Puddys vs Goliath, By Brian James Rational Poet on FB/META and @brianrrs37 on Twitter)

You’d think a guy
Could sit and try
To have a bowl of cereal

At midnight
But Anneplath
And Kelly

Also wanted to fill
Their belly and climbed
Up the side of me

Pin needle claws
Doesn’t matter
How small

Doesn’t matter
How tall
They wanted to get

To the bowl
I was laughing
Couldn’t eat at all

They clung
To the side of me
Like little thistles

Centimeters long
They had the druthers
Mountain climbing masters

They knew
What they were

Snorting milk
Through my nose
With all that laughter

Little tiny meows
Were the nails
In my coffin

“You win, you win!”
I put the bowl down
Went to the kitchen

And opened a tin
Of wet food
I’m a weak dude

A pushover,
They know who
Is in charge

It isn’t the big
The tall
The large

I have no chance
They do their dance
They know in advance

I’m their servant
They own me
They won the war.

Anneplath and Kelly wouldn’t let me eat my bowl of cereal. They kept trying to climb up my shirt digging into it clinging to me like thistles. I’d put them on the floor and they would climb up my sweatpants legs and up my shirt again. And of course meowing at the same time. I was laughing so hard. I finally gave up and opened up a can of cat food to get them off my back. They own me. Lovable, redorable, but I know who is in charge and it isn’t me.


2 responses to “Puddys vs Goliath”

  1. This is such a delightful poem, Brian. You know what they say about cats and dogs … dogs have masters, cats have slaves, and how true it is, too. I love how you described how they clung to you like little thistles. Cats, and certainly, kittens, are definitely the bosses in our relationships. Peanut is the same at age three. Her meows just melt me into submission. She has a way of twisting me around her little finger (well, paw, in her case.) Wishing me many, many more happy days with your new furry family.

    Liked by 1 person

    • It was funny as hell. I was trying to eat and they wanted what I was eating, persistent buggers were scaling me like I was Mt Everest. I would pull them off, put them on the floor, they’d try again.. They’d either scale my sweat pant leg, then up my shirt, or claw the side of the bed, onto the bed, then scale my shirt. I was laughing my ass off.

      Liked by 1 person

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