Wrong Tree And All

Wrong Tree And All, By Brian37 (Now Jackie Leigh) (AKA Brian James Rational Poet on Facebook/Meta and @brianrrs37 on Twitter)

My heals click, confident walk
Pushing my two tier shopping cart
My murderous dress, I must confess
The red roses on black print

My jet black hair, could make a heart stop
I’ve seen that shy approach before
Approached myself, a few or more
In that obligatory smokey bar

To find that muster, that initiative
The butterflies hitting hyper drive
Will she be receptive
Or eat me alive

Walking past the registers
His blushed face did register
Head tilted down, eyes peering up
Like a happy pet, a playful pup

I could see his hesitation
Trying to formulate what to say
“You are very pretty”, he stuttered
I guess I made his day

I thanked him
He went on his way
I could only think
If he knew, would I be ok?

Or would he be a bully
If I turned him down
If I told him I was trans
Would I end up on the ground ?

“I have no interest in you good sir “
And I never will
I am into women
That is mine to tell

Those words I never uttered
Though obvious was his flutter
I guess my pink lipstick was better
I underestimate my power

They’ve let me down before
I’ve been turned away
It is not fun on the receiving end
To have it end that way

So, somewhere is a guy
I will never see again
Who will live with that memory
Of working up the nerve, a plan
(end)

Having lived as a man, I know the nervousness in approaching a woman to strike up a conversation. Now that I am living as a woman, I have gotten a few complements from men, this story is just one. It happened at the grocery store a few weeks ago. I wanted to write a poem about it, but didn’t think of anything until just now.

But he didn’t ask me out or anything. I think he knew that would have been inappropriate. Yet I have had that same shy look on my face approaching women at bars. I know that look. I also got turned down too. Never fun. Which is why I am glad he simply left it at the complement. I don’t like feeling like I am going to hurt someone’s feelings.

I wish I could however, live in a world where I didn’t have to worry about telling someone I was transgender in this situation. I would have said to him, “I am really flattered, but I am transgender, and also into women.” Then have them respond, “Oh ok, that’s fine, still think you are pretty. I am not into trans though.” Then I would say, ” Thats fine too.”

The complements still give me a self esteem boost. It means I pass.

Cold As Ice, By Brian37 (Now Jackie Leigh) (AKA Brian James Rational Poet on FB/Meta and @ Brianrrs37 on Twitter.

The battering ram
Busted the deadbolt
The masked cowards
Make the Gestapo jolt

Don’t put them in your drink
They will poison, you will sink
Due process beyond the brink
Of a broken Constitution

They use Intimidation and fear
The Nazis are looming near
Your gardener does not hear
Soon to disappear

Dead fetus in a migrant’s womb
3 days in detention loomed
A Canadian met his doom
Due process has no room

This is no law and order
They don’t care about the boarder
The fascists are getting smarter
Your rights are burning fewer

No probable cause or warrants
Gestapo tactics are abhorrent
You don’t have to be clairvoyant
To see the writing on the wall

This isn’t about migrants
This isn’t about transgender
This isn’t about the price of eggs
Your freedom you will surrender

It’s about absolute power
And that is the final goal
Wrap it up up in a bible
Propaganda takes it’s toll

That German man
With outstretched hand
Sold his utopia too
They cheered him on

Then the camps were born
The bodies were burned
The ditches were dug
The minions were smug

Stripping others of their identity
Stripping them of their humanity
Stripping them of their right to be
Tattooing them for all to see

And it seems amnesia
Has struck again
And the Monster
Golfs at Mar A Lago

This cannot be our fate
We cannot let this repeat
We must stand up to him
Leave the bully in defeat
(end)

He is a monster, a bully. And any member of I.C.E. that is participating in warrantless raids, with no probable cause, and simply targeting innocent non violent people while they are at work, is evil. I hope you bullies do not sleep well and I hope you have nightmares.

“Just Doing My Job” by Brian37 (Now Jackie Leigh) (AKA Brian James Rational Poet on FB/META AND @brianrrs37 on Twitter/X)

The rooms with deadly toxic fumes
Are garnished, furnished, nourished
By the gardener with seeds of hate

In dead soil, the foliage now apathy
Blooming in colorless conformity
The weeds claim rights of superiority

The aggregates iron fisted authority
Patriotism’s oath is now blind loyalty
A spiral into fascism’s cruel insanity

It is 1939 WW2 Germany
It is Saddam taking stage
Purging his ranks the page

Migrants in swampy cage
Transgender the target of rage
We’ve seen this scapegoating before

This garden is nothing but thorns
Past history of this still warns
“I was just doing my job”

Slithering like a snake
The excuses you will make
For the upcoming funeral wake

Compassion for others you forsake
The grifter is on the take
Your cult will seal our fate

The time to stand is now
To fascists we never bow
Get out of the felon’s slough.
(end)

You will have no excuses when the genocide starts. Be it of migrants or transgender. It will not stop at deportations, or stop at keeping trans out of sports and bathrooms. We know the authoritarian playbook has always used scapegoating and vilification to convince people to give them power. What the followers do not see, is that their own rights are just as much lambs to the slaughter as those they hate themselves. Authoritarians do not care about anyone but keeping power.

The Big Bestial Bill, By Brian37(Now Jackie Leigh) (AKA Brian James Rational Poet on FB and @brianrrs37 on Twitter)

He wants to call it beautiful
He promises you the bountiful
In reality it is patently disgraceful

Don’t worry about your Medicaid
Say goodbye to Medicare
You don’t need your social security

They’ll take it and call it fair
The oligarchy the only heir
The autocrat on the rise

Consolidating one party power
Fascism will be comprised
Leaving you in ashes

Will you be surprised?
History is littered
With this dark and deadly tale

If you don’t care to protect it
Democracy will surely fail
The precipice is a step away

Soon you will have no say
Dissent will be silenced fast
Your prison will be cast

They mask the bill in a bow
Claiming it will save you loads
But it is a poison pill

We’re on a midnight road
In darkness we all die
So we have no choice but to fight

We must be the light
To give freedom it’s flight
The future is under attack

We must take it back
I want to see no swords
Of pens I prefer to be

We know they are the losers
In a moral history
Lets take back our dignity

Nothing wrong with diversity
We will put dictator wannabes
In the dustbin of history.

All voices must be loud
Protests all around
Sustain them every day

We will have our say.

I just wanted everyone to know I am still here. But I am really focused on my male to female transition. I have written a few new poems. I do need to get around to posting them here.

Echos of Atrocities, by Brian37 (Now Jackie Leigh) (AKA Brian James Rational Poet on FB/META and @brianrrs37 on Twitter)

I wonder if there are
Hispanics and Latinos
Etching into walls
In their detention camps

Calls to God to save them
As the emaciated ghosts
Skin as thin as paper
Ribs exposed

Are deposed in
Another dimension
Screaming through time
“NOT AGAIN, NOT AGIAN!”

Their ghoulish shadows
Haunt me in documentaries
Their vacant eyes resigned
To the abuse and certain death

I see their desperation
In their sunken faces
Black and white stripes
And silently they scream

“NOT AGAIN, NOT AGAIN!”
And I fear for my neighbors
Today, this year, in America
People kind to me

Who dutifully mow my lawn
Twice a month, and have so
For the past 7 years
Since my riding mower broke.

Every time
They have a party
They bring me
A plate so hearty

Full of hospitality
For a spring day
Or Christmas
I love carne tacos

And refried beans
They leave for work
And now I feel
Like the spouse of a cop

Will they come home
Come home tonight
And the truth is
I don’t know

And I fear
“NOT AGAIN, NOT AGAIN”

How can a human
Fall for the lines
Of such a barbarian
A bully with no compassion

We know the motto
On those German belt buckles
Gott Mit Uns
“NOT AGAIN, NOT AGAIN!”

White Christian Nationalism
Is the same game plan
Promise them a utopia
“NOT AGAIN, NOT AGAIN”

“LET ME SEE YOUR PAPERS!”
They shouted on demand
Throughout Poland, Germany and France
“NOT AGAIN, NOT AGAIN!”

I am not Jewish
I am not Hispanic
But we all must understand
“NOT AGAIN, NOT AGAIN!”

This only leads to dominos
You’ll be the last to fall
But once that happens
No freedom for anyone at all

“NOT AGAIN, NOT AGAIN!”
(END)

It’s A Man’s World, by Brian37 (Now Jackie Leigh) (AKA Brian James Rational Poet on FB/META and @brianrrs37 on Twitter.

The refrain from the egotist
The bluster from the misogynist
Toxic masculinity, coddling insecurity

They justify it from dusty ancient books
The gods they worship are the real crooks
Holy men wearing dresses are expert rooks

They think they’re not like the Taliban
Just different cousins of the same Klan
Saving the unborn is not their real plan

Those of the fair are mere property
Like the oxen and ass in their fraternity
Controlling bodies they don’t own

On about the bible they incessantly drone
But when you read it with an open eye
Infanticide and genocide they take pride

Firstborn of Egypt are slaughtered fast
Moses offers virgins to winners of war
Rapists marry victims the fathers adore

Money hungry pastors, they want more
All based on antiquated lore
Oppressive theocracies we’ve seen before

Fascism rises when you fall in their traps
Make up answers with the God of the gaps
Absurdity to atrocities are the final laps

We’ve seen the Colonialists do this before
Spread religion through muskets and war
And the king of the hill his the man in the sky

They’re to busy bullying to ever ask why
Incurious bastards unwilling to try
Reason and logic tragically die

There is no freedom without autonomy
Time to ditch the archaic misogyny
Women are an equal part of history.
(end)

No not all men have toxic masculinity. There are sane men who understand it is ok to be brawny, but it is not ok to bully other men or women into a stereotypical gender role. And while this poem addresses the western Christian history of religious patriarchy, the truth is misogyny and patriarchy have existed to greater or lesser extent throughout the history of every religion worldwide, including Buddhism, Sikhism, Hinduism, Jewish and Islam.

Even in most polytheism, of human history the head god/deity is always depicted as the top dog. Although the ancient Greeks and Romans had goddesses, the head top Gods were Apollo and Zeus respectively. Even Apollo punished Casandra (as the mythology goes) for rejecting him, in the same manor Eve is the scapegoat of all human kind.

The men of the world need to get over it. We need intellect, education, cooperation, empathy, and less greed, and less worrying about male image. It is ok to be a man, it is not ok to bully others into fitting your narrow definition of how life should go, especially when basing it on the patriarchal past of very rigid, archaic, and sexist oppression of women worldwide.

No human lives forever, and we all get replaced. All 8 billion of us will not be around in 120 years. So instead of fucking bullying people you don’t know men, instead of being insecure, stop worrying about your chest hairs and gender roles, and just be kind and thoughtful, and educated. It won’t hurt you to learn from a female or to be lead by a female.

The Fairness Doctrine, By Brian37 (Now Jackie Leigh outside my poetry) (AKA Brian James Rational Poet on FB/META and @brianrrs37 on Twitter/X)

Citizens United has our nation divided
Powder keg propaganda has been ignited
Jerry Springer Spray tan Squatter gets exited
Over his Military Parade but it’s a charade

The First Amendment’s free press was never intended
To become an episode of WWE, or Judge Judy
Journalists like Cronkite and Murrow
Would be horrified heads bowed in sorrow

At what Rupert and the GOP have done
47 and his party vilify journalist and aren’t sorry
But it is by their own hand if they want to claim
That the left has no aim but to be the enemy

There was an FCC policy, put in place a long time ago
That said journalists had a duty to show
That their reporting was fact
And not a carnival act

It was intended to be
Like a doctor’s Hippocratic Oath
But with journalist it was
To always tell the truth

But Reagan undid the Fairness pact
And objective journalism went off track
And Fox News has gone on the attack
Blaming liberal media at every turn

But their party was the one to burn
The very law, that demanded all
All who reported the news
Had a duty to the truth

Their hypocrisy morbidly uncouth
Hannity’s directors sit in Russian booths
Bots and algorithms feed fans poison
All so the orange one can continue treason

There was a time when
The Weekly World News
Was satire like 151 booze
No one took seriously

And the sycophants deliriously
Double down on all the absurdities
And the masses are convinced
Just like Kim Jong Un is a legend

Who made 19 holes in one
It’s the same at Mar A Lago
Grifting authoritarian fun
Soon you will be under the gun

And no one will be there
To speak up for you
You will be the last one
Then nothing but silence and obedience

Or death.
(end)

The F.C.C. created the “Fairness Doctrine” that was basically like the Hippocratic Oath, but for journalists. It basically said that you, as a journalist had to act in the best interest of the public by being objective and you could not put out propaganda that could incite or deliberately lie to the public that could cause harm.

It is absolutely true that corporate media has always existed. But up until Fox news ditched it’s “Balanced motto, it has become nothing more than a political mouth piece for a party that doesn’t want to share power or concede in a loss, but just wants absolute power. And Rupert Murdock paved that way. Fox is the Weekly World News and Alex Jone’s now defunct Info Wars combined. The Weekly World News was entertainment conspiracy crap with stories about a have bat have boy “batboy”, and nutty garbage like that. But Not news, it never was. It always had an agenda of spreading Christian Nationalism, and the willingness to use lies, and propaganda and conspiracy to cause confusion and sell add space.

And what is extremely rich about them accusing liberal media of lying, is that they had a tool called “The Fairness Doctrine” that applied to everyone, liberal and conservative media alike. But in the 1980s Ronald Reagan got rid of that, which paved the way for “entertainment news” and even Sean Hannity once said, “I am not a journalist, I am an entertainer”, but did so when called out on his lies. If he is just an entertainer, then why is network he works for called “Fox News”?

He knew damned well, as well as all the sycophants at Farts Noise that people listen to them, and believe the bullshit they sell is fact when it is not.
And when you combine the U.S. Supreme Court’s “Citizens United” to that climate, I basically was like pouring gas on a fire that made Vampires real to many, and Crop Circles everyone’s GPS app.

Citizens United basically said billionaires could pump as much money into a political campaign, and have the attack ads be nothing but lies. So the truth is it was never about honesty for the right wing or right wing media, it was only about winning.

The Teacup’s Arrival, By Brian37 (Now Jackie Leigh) (AKA Brian James Rational Poet on FB and @brianrrs37 on Twitter).

I wanted a tea of heather and lilac
I swam in a sea of swells and shark
I wanted to be an a side track
I slept in a closet pitch dark black

I wanted a sailboat I could tack
I got jellyfish stings all over my back
I wanted the locks of Farrah’s hair
I spoke not of that, I did not dare

I wanted to dress in pretty things
Pantyhose, pumps and pearl strings
I wanted a morning to wake up so
To be that girl I always did know

I wanted a tea of honey and milk
I dreamed of nightgowns made of silk
I wanted my flat chest to grow and grow
Way back then I couldn’t have known

That the time would come
Closing in near
I no longer hide
Or live in fear

And hopefully by
The end of the year
My body will be whole
That’d I’d yearned for years.
(end)

This poem isn’t specifically about me, and is metaphor more than anything. But it does describe the longing to have your body be whole as the gender you always knew you were, while suppressing it while it still haunted you, and facing stigma and fear of coming out as transgender. But it is about me in the desire to live as a female, that has always been inside me.