Once Upon A Time

Once Upon A Time, By Brain37 (AKA Brian James Rational Poet on FB/META and @brianrrs37 on Twitter)

I said, “Let there be light”
Ok who is he speaking to?
Why would I need to “let”

To do, if he is all powerful too?
But I digress, regress, and progress
I must confess, this isn’t starting off well

I’ll create day and night, but
One light for the day, one light for the night
Why only do that once, I’ll do that twice

Isn’t that nice? Now I need some scenery
Some greenery, even adult plants
But please don’t point out photosynthesis

I need some poker chips” POOF”
I’ll give one a space rocket
I’ll give the other a place to park it

Then I’ll tell them they cant do it
It’s really annoying I didn’t listen
I made Christopher Hitchens

Who pointed out much later
That I put their entertainment centers
In the middle of a sewage system

Shit, you’re starting to think
Can’t have that, I know, cute animals
Name them, dude, that’s all I’ll let you do

Now walk around in the nude
Hey there snake man, whacha up to?
You want to make a wager with me?

Ok, lets see, what’s the bet?
Is that all? Is that it? They won’t do it
And to prove it, here is a tree

You can slither up it and see
But blame it on the bitch
Slither up that tree

Tempt him, with that apple
Oh shit, she did it, fuck
I didn’t have to do it

This isn’t what I expected
Fig leaves, nudity, shame
I know who to blame

Even though I set up the game
I’ll blame Adam and Eve
Even though they were innocent

And had no say, in the setup
In the rules, poker chips
For me and the ground troll to abuse

Now are you ready for part two?
Be a good Hebrew, and nobody gets hurt
These assholes are fucking up

On a boat I’ll get Noah to work
Then, even though I don’t have to
Even though I will drown

In a worldwide act of genocide
Every one that has not bowed
To my brutal arbitrary demands

Didn’t they learn from the Pharaoh
When I killed all those kids
Over a beef I had with him?

So these two Australian Kangaroos
Swam from there across the Indian ocean
To get to a boat , to stay afloat

Yea ok, so what, 100s of thousands
Millions dead, who didn’t kiss my ass
Who chose other gods instead?

Never mind it would have included
Pregnant women, toddlers
Among the dead

Gaseous bloated bodies
Bobbing in the salt water
Like apples in a tub

Don’t think about the rub
The flood is almost done
Now it’s time for family fun

Take your pick, 7 or 12
Survivors, seems pretty limited
This gene pool I am stuck with

But hey, their rockets and pockets
Still work, get to work, don’t
Worry about ending up with cousins

You’ll make dozes of cousins
Into millions and millions
Damn it humans, this still ain’t working

After all that brutality, I mean compassion
After cleaning this housing, but flooding it
My lab rats still aren’t getting it

I know what will fix it
I will fake a suicide
I’ll do it as me

I’ll pretend to care
But it isn’t selfless
It is selfish

I want all the glory
Cant you see the irony
I want your new logo to be

A torture device
A murder tool
A symbol so cruel

Are you noticing a theme yet
This worship of death
This worship of violence

I will crush your defiance
I demand your compliance
I’ll bring you roses

Like a beaten wife
I’ll beg your forgiveness
All day and all night

But if I beat you again
You know it is right
I do it because I love you

I killed myself for you
Not really, I’m still here
Bugging you, threatening you

Damn it, it’s not working
First the garden, then the boat
Then my fake suicide of which I take pride

I am getting fed up
It’s my Xbox
And you’re my characters

But I suck at this
I cant get it right
You still do bad things

So I’ll burn you all alive
Billions of you, billions
I’ll punish you all forever

And save my loyal minions
Once upon a time
I couldn’t make up my mind

I got frustrated with my toys
My props my things
Once upon a time.

Then it was all downhill after that.


4 responses to “Once Upon A Time”

    • Thank you. The point isn’t to say I hate all Christians. I do not. But it is intended to be jarring to get people to actually read that book, every word every page without rose colored glasses on. It really is not a nice story if one looks at it objectively.

      Liked by 1 person

      • I totally agree with you, Brian. I used to be a Christian, although I was brought up without any faith in my life. I converted around 2008, but after quite a long time, I came to the conclusion that I didn’t like the message that was pumped into the congregation week after week. I count myself as a non-believer now. My sister is a Christian through and through and worries about where I’m going to ‘go’ after I shuffle off this mortal coil. I just think of it as quietly becoming a part of nature and have planned to be cremated and my ashes buried in a natural burial ground not far from where I live. My children are okay with this as they weren’t brought up with faith either despite the fact that my birth religion is Jewish, as was my ex-husband’s.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Bad things happening, and religious people being hypocrites isn’t the best reason to reject ANY religion. The core reason for me is simple, lack of evidence. No hate, just an observation. There is also no evidence for Apollo being real either. And isn’t it funny that life has been around for about 4 billion years and our species has only been around 200,000 years and yet also only written language and written religion for about 10,000 YEARS. Seems a lot of waste of time to me if “all this” was put her for only one species in mind and we cant get out of our solar system to see the rest of the galaxy in person much less the Andromeda Galaxy.

        It makes much more sense to me, that good and bad happen because they do. And just like Poseidon doesn’t cause hurricanes, I see no need to insert a sky wizard in as a gap answer for anything.

        I am donating my body to science. Hopefully I’ll be helping a new scientist/doctor or police investigator learn something.

        Liked by 1 person

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