Till Death Do Us

Till Death Do Us, By Brian37 (AKA Brian James Rational Poet on FB/META and @brianrrs37 on Twitter)

Apollo 13
Was not
A failure
In the least

This utopia
Couples get sold
In youth
Before they meet

The tuxedo
And lace train
The vows the

The white frosting
The bouquet tossing
The garter belt

It all sounds fun
But once it is done
They face the mundane
The bills and babies

And then the bitterness
Because you were taught
This was a cure all
It would solve all your problems

Then when it did not
You argued and fought
Lawyers you sought
The nuptials for not

Then the bitterness
The resentment
The hating
The seething

And even the scheming
To crush the other
As if it were
Sunnis vs Shiites

Apollo 13
Was a success
They all made it back
In the ocean they splashed

It is never a failure
To love while it lasts
To face reality
In case of a clash

Is the key
Forever isn’t always
The reality

Honesty is best
When your feelings change
It may hurt
You may feel pain

But it is far worse
For both involved
If you live a lie
Side by side.

I don’t hate marriage, I was married once. But I do hate this attitude passed down to generation after generation, that if you don’t get married, or you don’t have kids, somehow you are a flawed human being. And if you do get married you are a failure as a human being if you get a divorce.

My attitude is the same, even with just friends. People can and do change over time, even with mere friends, and people can and do drift apart or their feelings change. It does not have to become a war.

I look back on my wife telling me she didn’t want to stay married to me. That hurt like hell. But she knew it was hurting me, and I know she hated hurting me, but I appreciated her honesty in any case. She didn’t hold any bitter feelings to me or me to her. In fact she actually got her friends to help me move out of our apartment to my new one by myself. AND she invited me to Thanksgiving dinner despite our separation and divorce.

We have grown apart since and we don’t talk anymore, but that is not out of hate or bitterness, just a matter of moving on. I still have fond memories of our time together. She is a very brilliant woman, and super intelligent. It has been 20 years since our divorce, and I still wish her well.


One response to “Till Death Do Us”

  1. I like this poem – it’s so true, but if you choose not to wed or have children, it’s more widely accepted now. I agree that many people grow apart in time, but with a mature attitude (not necessarily a mature age, although it could be that, too), people can still stay on good terms. It’s so much better for all involved that way. My marriage, many moons ago, broke up after seven years, by which time we’d had two young children. Although we couldn’t get on, to begin with, we have, after all those years, remained on good terms to this day.


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