Dear Mom, By Brian37 (AKA Brian James Rational Poet on FB/META and @brianrrs37 on Twitter)

When I was on the brink
After watching you sink
And take your last breath

I wanted it to be my end
How could I continue
My life without you?

Clocks kept ticking
The sun kept setting
The pain unrelenting

But the clouds dispersed
And the rain stopped
I could now look up

At the bright blue sky
And today I know why
You wanted me to try

Dear Mom
It has been 5 years
Since you’ve been gone

My ups and downs continue
The tulips still bloom
The brown maple leaves doom

And yet I found room
To write this poem to you
And tell you everything since

That I have been through
My endless, boundless gratitude
If only you knew

How productive I’ve been
In painting pictures in heads
The security you gave me

Keeps me in a warm bed
But even then, it’s more than that
If it weren’t for you, I’d have not my cat

If it weren’t for you,
I wouldn’t have met
Bob and John and Vicki

I wish you were with me
I’ve been a poem factory
The past several months

I am glad I stuck around
Glad I didn’t give up
I drink up your memories

When I fill my morning cup
I was fearful and scared
But because your life you shared

I am here, I’ve dried my tears
Well, not completely
I still stress and veer

I know this
You will never hear
Dear Mom

You would be tickled
If you knew an Angel
Tweeted me

You would have been
The first I called
MOM MOM MOM

You won’t believe this at all
You like the Golden Girls
I did not

I was fond of their spin off
I felt empty having no nest
Overall where to park

Without getting a ticket
I stumbled on her
This same week

The Friday last
When the Angel
Did Tweet

You’d have said “That’s neat”
You’d see me smile, and beaming
A and goofy and giddy, and gleaming

Yea Mom, I got to talk to
To people who played
Characters I loved

On top of writing poems
In snow pile droves
Dear Mom

I hate that you’re gone
I still get down sometimes
But you’d want me to move on

I am still stuck
On one ABBA song
Ring, Ring, cant call

Dear Mom.
(end)

This poem is dedicated to my late Mom Jane. I was crushed when she decided not to do any more and they sent her back to the nursing home from the hospital for the last time. And then when she took her last breath it was like an atomic bomb going off in my heart/head. My biggest supporter had died.

I really was shaky on and off after that, the worst was the moment and for a good 2 and a half months after, I was in a very dark scary place.

But I know my mom, and she wouldn’t have wanted me to stay down and sad forever. And if she were alive today, I would be still calling her every day and telling her what was going on in my life. I would read her my poems, I wrote her a few while she was alive, just mainly cute stuff about her and her her dog Honey.

But she would be thrilled today at my productivity in writing. And for her it would be about getting famous or rich for me, but just merely about me being happy. That was her biggest concern in her last days, how I would survive and could I be happy.

She’d also be tickled pink to know I got to converse on social media with two of my favorite TV characters, the actresses who played them. This past week has been awesome, and I wish I could still ring her on the phone and visit her and ask her about her day and tell her about my day.

IN MEMORY OF JANE 1933-2017, I LOVE YOU MOM!