Amplified, By Brian37(AKA Brian James Rational Poet on FB/META and @brianrrs37 on Twitter)

This thing, this grey matter
This albatross, this dead weight
This filing cabinet
This runner

Bicycle courier, broken spokes
Flat tire, no pump, all that data
Suffocated by that enforcer
Putting a plastic bag over my creativity

Why damn it! Why! Why! Why!
Why can’t I get it down, these words
Doled out like a blind black jack dealer
With no table, spilling the chips everywhere

And you cling to me, inside me
My city hall, office of records
Duplicate, triplicate, lost it
Shredded it, no record of it

I would pull that fire alarm
Just to get your attention
But you just put your feet up
On your desk, taking your time

To come to my office, your office
Our office, just to dump the file
Into the trash can, just to spite me
And there isn’t a thing I can do

Unless, I turn out the lights
Cut off the power
Burn the building down
Drop you off the roof

Hey, do you want to
Go out for a drink after work?
I know this great place
I know the bartender

He’ll give you all the free drinks
You want. And snacks? No problem
Bowls of your favorite pills
Take as many as you like

Don’t worry about the tab
It’s on the house. Tomorrow
You’ll get your severance pay
But don’t look for references.

This poem is about struggling with my maladies. I have A.D.D. and high anxiety, plus a brain that doesn’t do what I want it do to, when I want it to. It shoots through the roof when I am writing poetry, and can easily lose my thought, misspell a word and miss it, or completely lose my thought and sometimes even an entire poem. And although I have not been diagnosed, I also think I might have slight dyslexia. Not to mention this can cause me to be depressed.

The imagery is about my neurons in my brain. I imagine them as a bicycle courier company that is unorganized, misfiring, scattered and disjointed, and getting frustrated with myself. I will say one thing about this format on this page, it does help reduce my stress level by not being busy in looks, plus having spellcheck. Although even with spellcheck I still can miss something.


3 responses to “Amplified”

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