My infection, inclination, subterranean
Shall it be, a warm bathtub sleep
Anxiety pills, whiskey on the rocks?
Did I ask you to ask? No, I am here
Reading your words, on the recommendation
From a lady who stuck her head in the oven
She thought highly of you, so why, why
This fascination, obsession, direction
To the carpenter’s questions, never asked
Never asks why, die, die, die
Is it that the razor blade is too dull?
Is it that you are not yet high enough to fall?
I am on that girder, in the skyline
Perched above the metropolis, eating my lunch of fear
Wondering why I am here, dear, my dear
It is no craft, it is criminal, this theft
Of my senses, drawing me in, with your poison
Creative poison, tumultuous, I could stir it
In my coffee, you look like you love coffee
Or is it tea? Anything, anything, will you
Just spend a little time with me, with me?
She won’t mind, she’s too busy
Being interviewed, or writing of giant statues
And prison camps, and pink fizz
And you walk in, grabbing me, dragging me
Into some sort of pact I have not agreed to
I just got here, slow down, I just met you
There you are, the pair of you
Whispering in my ears, “It is painless”
Hawkeye and Trapper sang of it
But for now, I want none of it
Just your company, that is it
Anne, Sylvia, don’t fight over me.
(end)
This poem stems from my listening to a Sylvia Plath interview in which she said she like a fellow poet Anne Sexton. Unfortunately both of them respectively committed suicide, Sylvia in 63, and Anne in 74.
I’ve been seriously suicidal in the past myself. Not now, but been there. Their poetry I can so identify with. I reference both poet’s imagery in this poem. IE, “the carpenter” of Anne Sexton’s “Wanting To Die”. And Sylvia Plath’s “The Applicant” , “Colossus”, “Daddy” and “Cut”.
In Anne Sexton’s poem “Wanting To Die” there is this stanza
“But suicides have a special language
Like carpenters, they want to know which tools
They never ask why build”….<—- Anne Sexton.
That should explain the “carpenter” reference in my poem as an ode to Anne’s poem.
And in my poem you heard/ read “It’s painless” which is in reference to the theme song to the sitcom M.A.S.H. called “Suicide Is Painless”, and Hawkeye and Trapper are characters in that sitcom.
Of course this is an imaginary conversation with Anne, as if all three of us were at a party that Plath invited me to, and Anne tried to steal me from her. It is really dark in meaning, meaning the “pact” I did not agree to.
Brian37 AKA Brian James Rational Poet...... My Poetry 
One response to “My New Affair”
[…] Unexpected, By Brian37 (AKA Brian James Rational Poet on FB/META and @Brianrrs37 on Twitter) The artist, the medium, the pallet The instrument, the implement, intentThe explicit, ambiguous, innocuous The selfless, selfish, confessed, obsessed The notes, the volume, the silence, defiance The rawness, refined, inclined, undefined The obscure, obvious, oblivious, confounding The artist can print, paint, sing, write, danceBut it is the viewer, that takes the glance And may see what the artist does not. (end) In my 30 plus years of writing poetry, I have long since learned, that while you can have intent in your imagery, and love a particular line you write, it may not be the focus others have on that same piece of work. That always pleasantly surprises me. I reposted my poem “My New Affair” today and someone liked the line “you look like you love coffee, or is it tea” line. While my favorite line was about the girder in that same poem. Point is, people may focus on another part of your work that they like, always take it as a complement. https://brianjamesrationalpoet.blog/2022/09/27/my-new-affair/ […]
LikeLike